Shepherding Cats
by xShurikenx
Summary: When people fall asleep, most don't expect to wake up in Ylisse. If they did, I'd question their mental state. Then again, I question my own mental state all the time. Ugh. My sanity is not in question here. Or, maybe it is. A self insert dealing with the realities of being tossed into Ylisse and forced to sink or swim.
1. Chapter 1: Id-Beginnings

There's grass at my back. Huh.

I open my eyes.

I appear to be lying in a meadow on a beautiful summer day. Birds chirping, butterflies flitting from flower to flower, poofy clouds lazily drifting across the sky, the works. Which is weird, because I remember it being winter. And sleeping in a bed, come to think of it.

I freeze, close my eyes and try to think where I was last. The more I reach, the more the memories seem to slip out of my grasp, like a half dissolved dream. I... am a student, at a university. Philadelphia? Yes. America. Good. Biology, evolution. Darwin. C. elegans. Computer games, Mass Effect. Fire Emblem. Right.

I reach for my pocket, and my hand hits a sword hilt.

Well, that _definitely_ wasn't there before.

Breathe. Slow down. Concentrate.

Resisting the urge further investigate the sword, I find my pocket and attempt to find paper or something. Unsurprisingly, I find nothing. I guess I'm just going to have to do it the old fashioned way. I'm somewhere I don't remember being, and forgetting where I last was seems to be a great way to get permanently lost. If I let myself get distracted, I have the nasty suspicion that I'll forget everything.

UPenn, cold, winter. Soft blankets. Piano. Violin but out of practice. Bit of ballroom for fun. Lots of video games. Wait, don't get distracted thinking about that. Name: Renee. Age: 19. Chinese American. Parents. Brother in Germany.

Satisfied that I probably have enough to go off of for further recall, I stand up to look around. I'll probably have to do that periodically to keep the memory fresh. My clothing looks familiar, so I assume that didn't change. I don't have my backpack or purse with me, so I suppose that it's a blessing that I favor jackets with large pockets. Wait. I definitely wouldn't sleep with this jacket on. Hm. That's interesting. Wearing boots, definitely wouldn't have been wearing those in bed. And I don't have my winter coat on, which I probably would have put on if I was outside. Sleep walking? Uh, probably not. It would have been cold, and I probably would have frozen to death. Kidnapped? Kinda unlikely. For one thing, they probably wouldn't have left me with a sword.

Outside of a fencing foil for a few beginner's fencing lessons and kitchen knives, I haven't actually held anything remotely resembling an edged weapon. This one was pretty light, though still a tad heavy for me and my stick arms. Bronze? It's an odd greenish hue that I don't normally associate with swords. I cautiously touch a finger to the edge and immediately cut myself. Sharp, at least. No crossguard, and it's double edged. Roman gladius? No, there's a weird curve in the middle. Strangely familiar looking though. Where have I seen this before?

Bronze Sword. 50 uses, E Rank. 350 gold.

What. Oh no. Nononononono.

I'm in a bloody self insert.

Hm. Does that mean I magically know how to use a sword now? I give it a practice swing and I almost lose my grip and drop it on my foot. Oops. Deeeeep breaths. That could have been really messy. I guess not. Damn, that would have been cool. Still, that rules out a few things. I'm not the Avatar, thank god. I don't think I could strategize properly if it didn't involve save scumming.

I root around my pockets. No electronics, that makes sense. So whatever dropped me here left me with a sword and changed my clothes. How thoughtful. Though with Outrealm Gate here... Huh. There's a thought. Did I fall through the Gate? If so, how the hell did that happen?

I start walking, hoping to spot a path or something. My best bet is to reach people, since sword or no, I'm pretty much inept at defending myself from anything. I've got little muscle, and am pretty uncoordinated. As much as I have resisted my friends' attempts to get me to join the track team, I admit it probably would have helped in this situation. If nothing else, at least I could have run. And knowing Fire Emblem, bandits will probably pop out at some point. Urp. Let's try not to think about that, shall we?

* * *

It was a long walk. There were way too many bugs. I figured out why I didn't go hiking like I always promised myself I would. I'm tired, my feet hurt and way, way too many places itch. I don't do physical activity. Bluh.

The sun was close to setting when I finally gave up and flopped down under a tree. I had been following a dirt path, but that seemed like a worse and worse idea as it led into a forest. What had been a beautiful day turned into a strangely ominous night. Nights in a forest are scary. Strange sounds everywhere, shadows, mysterious rustling - basically everything you don't want when you're lost in the dark. But at this point, I was a bit too tired to care much. I curled up and feel asleep, and hoped to whatever deity may be listening that I would wake up if I was in trouble. My track record with waking up in time wasn't too good in general, so I figured that I'd need whatever help I could get.

* * *

I woke up to the ground pitching and rolling beneath me. Give how deeply I sleep, and how many alarms and minor earthquakes I've slept through in my life, this was intense.

_Woom... woom... woom... woom _

**RRRGGGGGHHHH!**

What the crap? Still sleepy and sore from sleeping on the ground, I struggled to my feet. Blinking furiously, I tried to wake myself up. My legs buckle as I try to get up, and I end up falling over and smashing my shin on a protruding root. Well, I'm awake now at least. Hopping around, clutching my shin and cursing under my breath, but awake.

RRGH!

_Fssh.. _

Thud. Thud.

Wha- Risen. Of course. Should have seen this coming. Shitshitshitshit. Shit. aso;dfijasdfal;;faji sodfoi; Why me?

Ok. Calm down. They're like zombies right? A bit? They seem pretty slow at least. Remember the Zombie Survival Guide. Stay calm and I'll be fine. Judging by the volume of the growls, they're still a little ways away. Hopefully.

_RRrrrrr... Rrrrrrrr..._

STAY CALM! I'm going to be calm damn it! Hahaha... haha. Yeah, I'm really not going to be. My heart feels like it's going to pound itself out of my ribcage.

Ok. Ok. I take a few deep meditative breaths in attempt to slow my heartrate and manage a fast walk in the opposite direction of the growls. No point in sprinting; I don't have enough endurance to keep it up for long enough, and from what I remember in cutscenes, I should be able to outpace them even walking. At least when they're not charging. If they charge... Well, I'm just screwed then I guess. Gonna need endurance if I actually need to make a break for it, or, god forbid, fight. If it comes to that, I'm probably dead anyways.

...Let's not think about that.

The weird humming continues, and the tops of the trees above me are bathed in a purple light. I glance up, and see the sky filled with an enormous glowing symbol. Dark blobs separate from the sky and fall earthwards at the rate of several per second .

Fuck.

Worse still, the treetops glow a dull red. There was a forest fire going on in the cutscene. I really hope that it burns itself out, or I'm even more screwed if it comes this way. I hear that being burned to death is one of the worst ways to go. You'd be lucky if you died from smoke inhalation, but if this forest is dry, then I'd probably just get burned to a crisp in an instant. I really hope that it hurts less. What would it be like to feel your skin cracking and turning black? Would you be able to watch, or would the vitreous humor in your eyes boil before that happened? What would that feel like...?

I should probably stop thinking about this.

Well, it looks like I can't really do much more than I am right now. I force myself to keep my walking pace fast, but regular. That symbol covers a lot of area, so with a little luck, I can avoid the Risen altogether.

**RRRRRRrrrrGH!**

Ok, that was definitely wishful thinking on my part. As I reach a clearing, dozens of Risen come into view. Thankfully, they're still at least 150 yards off, so I have a little bit of breathing space. Draw sword? No, making a break for it is probably still my best option and I'd really rather not run holding a really sharp object. That would be just asking for me to trip and impale myself. Wow, my chest almost physically hurts with the pressure my heart is putting on it. Nerves, most likely. Probably the most apt time I've had them, really. Facing down a horde of zombie warriors who could all probably kill me with a single blow, while having no combat experience, and no endurance? I'm so screwed.

That's when I see the bolts of lightning and hear the clang of metal on metal. Someone's fighting this horde. Good? That gives them less focus on me, hopefully. I would help them, but really, I'm more of a liability than an asset, and they'll probably be fine without my "assis-

SHIT!

An arrow flew out of the darkness and planted itself into the ground near my foot. I drop down, hoping that was a stray shot. Luckily, the grass is rather tall, and I'm pretty small. Guess that means I'm crawling. I inch forward on my hands and knees and try to skirt around the edge of the mob.

As I draw closer, I make out two figures virtually dancing through the Risen, firing lightning and slashing through them with deadly precision. Two shadowy riders wheel around the mob. Totally fine without me. Is that another person over by the side? Why would she be in a poofy dress of all things? I mean, even if there wasn't going to be fighting, who would go hiking in that dress? Fire Emblem logic... Wait, that means -

Risen coming up behind her, she doesn't seem to see it. Axe wielder. Arghhhh. The others aren't close enough, there's Risen between them. Only I am. If I sprint, that is.

_And what will you accomplish exactly? Trip and get yourself killed? You're weak, can't use a sword. How exactly would you help with anything? You'd just add another corpse._

That's true. I'm probably not going to be able to do anything, even if I get there. It's probably best if I just slink off and forget-

No. I mentally smack myself. I'm not going down this line of thought. There's a person there, who's probably going to die if I don't think of something. I'm _not_ living with the guilt.

I stand up, wrestle the sword out of the scabbard and start running. Hold the blade to the side, so if you trip, hopefully won't fall on it. Two hands, definitely need the extra power. Just a few more feet.

"AIEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Wow, Lissa screams loudly. Well, she finally noticed the guy with the axe raised behind her. Unfortunately, she's just kinda cowering with her staff over her head. Great. I was kind of hoping for a lucky dodge. Of course, her speed sucks at early levels, so I guess I shouldn't be - Gah! Concentrate!

Plant feet for stability. Stab-

That got its attention at least? Saved her life, now have to save mine. Unfortunately, I think my sword is stuck in its chest. Uh. Shit shit shit. I frantically try to tug it out. Thankfully, I attacked from the back, but - HOLY SHIT. Crap, I forgot about that creepy 180 degree head turn. Wait, it's still swinging at Lissa. Wow, how low is her health that it prioritizes her over me? And how can I stop her from getting cut in half? Wait, levers. Push the sword, mess up its aim. I threw my weight behind the sword. The axe thudded to the ground next to Lissa, instead of slicing her head into pieces. Awesome, that actually worked.

More Risen. Sword still stuck. Great. Apparently, I didn't need to worry about living with guilt, I'm not going to be living shortly.

Wait, I have a meat shield. HRGH, pull! Haha! I managed to maintain a death grip on the sword, even though I feel like I have rocks on the ends of my wrists currently. It worked though! Friendly fire is the best. I guess there is a actually small advantage to having your sword stuck in a zombie. And good thing it's not smart/agile enough to kick me or something.

Wait, there's one from behind -! Not gonna be fast enough to turn this bugger around-

_Crrshh!_

Lightning. Ok, the cavalry has arrived. Can I collapse and pretend I'm dead now? Crap, the Risen from before recovered from their first attacks. Pull! Well, there goes my shield. Ew, the dissolving stuff is disgusting. Took three hits for me though, so I suppose I should thank it? Lance! ARRRRRGHH! Painpainpainpain - AXE, shiiiiiiiiiiitttttttimgonnadiesodeadsodeadsodead.

_Clang!_ Oh hey, blue hair. Reaaaally blue hair. It's Chrom. I think I'll just lay down. For a bit. And pretend there's not a lance sticking out of my side. Hey, it doesn't hurt as much anymore? Ah. Lissa. Cool.

Tired. Sleep.

* * *

"Chrom, we have to do something!"

Ngh-

"What do you propose we do?"

"I dunno..."

Mrh?

"I see you're awake now."

I crack my eyes open gingerly. Ugh, they feel like they're full of sand. There's a bunch of blurry blobs crowding my field of vision.

"Hey there!"

Pigtails. Blonde. Lissa, right. She's a little too chipper for having almost gotten killed a few minutes ago, isn't she? Wait, how long have I been out? I'm still on the ground, and the sky is a big blur of red, probably from the fire. So I'm guessing it's not been too long. Long enough to take care of the Risen at least though, since no one has weapons ready.

"There are better places to take a nap than on the ground you know."

"So, do you use that line on every girl you find sleeping in the middle of a field?"

Avatar. Water. Fire. Earth - no, bad joke. Blinking rapidly, I attempt to clear my eyesight enough to get a better look at the speaker. My eyes seem to be more concerned with producing tears than allowing vision at the moment though. Goddamn ash. She's female at least.

"Milord, if I may, you do seem to have a talent for this."

That would be Frederick.

"This is only the second one..."

"The second one today, milord."

"My, my! Such lovely ladies. Fortune truly smiles upon me this day!"

Oh god, its Virion.

"So. Sully, who's this?"

"Aw, hell if I know. Just some creep that decided to follow me. Seems handy enough with a bow though."

"Indeed, I am the archest of archer-"

"Here, take my hand."

Oh, Chrom was talking to me. Heh, and thoroughly ignoring Virion. Looks like I really am in Fire Emblem. Wow, firm grasp. And he pulls me up like I weigh nothing. Well, I kinda do weigh nothing, but I usually don't feel like I'm flying when people pull me up.

"You saved my sister's life, and for that you have my thanks. Tell me, friend, what is your name?"

I blink a few more times and try to take it in. All six of them are gathered around me in a rough semicircle. Guess the unconscious girl was the most interesting around at the moment. It's strange to be among people who you've only seen as drawings, let alone people you've thought of as fictional. Somehow Virion's hair is still as gravity defying as in the game. I wonder if he uses gel or something? And the colors. Blue, bright red, teal. And all natural hair colors too, since they're inheritable. Huh, I wonder what the heritability is for that-

My eyes settle on the Avatar. Medium height, probably 5'5, dark blue hair in a ponytail. ... That's my Avatar. Which means that her name is probably Renee as well, as I named her after myself. This could be problematic.

Frederick coughed and said, "Let me guess. You also conveniently have amnesia?"

Oh, I was supposed to be answering a question. Great first impression there. I was probably staring like a stunned fish.

"Sorry sir, I'm a bit disoriented. I, uh, don't exactly fight zombie soldiers and get stabbed every day. Sir."

I grimaced and looked down. What I assumed used to be gaping hole in my side had turned into a mass of scabby soreness. I guess that Lissa doesn't have the necessary magic skill to completely heal that yet. But hey, I saved Lissa at least? I guess in the grand scheme of things, getting a stab wound that can be magicked away is better than letting someone die a preventable death, right?

Hm. How should I deal with this? ... I think I got it, but- Oh well, time to take a dive.

"My name is Rei'ning."

Not exactly lying there, since that's my Chinese name. And it kinda sounds like it's Chon'sinese, which is convenient. I just hope no one asks how it was there. I might be able to get away with saying I'm an immigrant though? Hopefully? Wait, getting ahead of myself. I hope to god that the Avatar's name isn't Renee, so I can say that's my nickname or something. Probably should introduce myself a bit. Uh.

"I'm not exactly a soldier, as you probably could tell. I'm a student actually. On... sabbatical at the moment, wandering around collecting samples, you know. Studying nature in the field and... stuff."

Wait, why didn't I want to say my name was Renee? Seriously, I think that the One Steve Limit isn't actually in effect in FE. My brain is weird. I mean, I think that Frederick would be weirded out, but it's perfectly natural to have more than one person with the same name? Though I guess Chrom commented that MU's name was strange. Seriously, I gotta stop-

"But you _can_ fight."

I gaped at the Avatar. What would have possessed her to make that comment? She saved my ass when I couldn't get my sword out of the Risen, so I mean, she saw that I got my damn sword stuck.

"Er. Ms-? I'm sorry, what's your name?"

Might as well get the introductions out of the way before I mess up and say someone's name. That would be awkward. And Frederick would probably have a minor heart attack. Two mysterious women who came out of nowhere knowing Chrom in one day?

"Right. I'm Chrom, the leader of the Shepherds. This is Frederick, this is my little sister Lissa. That's Sully over there, and this is Renee, our newest member and tactician. I have actually not been introduced to this... gentlemen as of yet," he said, gesturing at Virion.

"Ah yes, forgive me for my temporary lapse in etiquette. Virion, at your service." Virion gave a sweeping bow to the rest of us.

I feel like I know them all, but I've never actually seen them in person. Best to not let on that I spent hundreds of hours listening in on conversations between them. Especially since they're conversations that everyone has yet to have... This is going to be really awkward isn't it. If I were smart, I would be booking it out of here already. I know that these guys are going to go through hell and back. I was there.

"Both of you have my thanks. You have proven your courage and skills, and we could use your help."

Huh. Not completely unexpected, but still. Even though I "know" what Chrom is like, it definitely is something else to hear that good-natured earnestness in person.

I responded without thinking. "I would love to help you, but I think you're asking the wrong person. I'm fairly useless in combat, as you have seen. And besides, are you sure you can trust me? Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered, but how do you know I'm not some Plegian spy sent to get close to you in order to assassinate you?"

Suddenly, there was a blade tickling my windpipe. I found Frederick's stare leveled at me, as rock steady as his lance arm.

"Are you?" An innocuous question and his tone betrayed no menace, but he just laid out the hugest threat I've ever had on my life.

"N-no. I... was just worried." Holy shit, I feel like my knees are going to collapse. I reaaaally hope they don't, since I'm pretty sure this lance will take my head off if I fall over.

"How did you know that milord is someone important enough to warrant Plegian attention then?"

Oh dear. Frederick wouldn't _really _kill me would he? Would he? Ohgodohgod aaaaaaalkjfasdfadfa.

My throat doesn't seem to be working. WhatdoIdoohshitohshit uh uh um. Brain! Cough, clear throat. I think I just nicked myself on his lance. Ohgod. Deep breaths. He's not going to kill you. I hope. _No_. It's not happening, there's no "I hope" about it. You got this. I think.

"I _have_ heard of the Shepherds sir, and know that they defend locals against brigands, as well as ones Plegia sends to incite war. Anyone could see that the leader of such a group would be rather... inconvenient... for Plegia's goals. And Sir Chrom here did introduce himself as leader of the Shepherds." My voice is shaking a little more that I wanted for a cool, calm and collected answer, but let's face it, that was a bit much to ask for.

Chrom chuckled. "Frederick, lower your lance."

He complied. I let out the breath that I didn't know I managed to hold in. My legs feel like they're made of jelly.

"This is not how we welcome new Shepherds. You ask me how I can trust you with so little proof of your intentions? I say that you showed intentions enough when you decided to save my sister's life. What do you think, Renee?"

I almost answered that. And then I remembered that I'm not Renee here. This is going to take some getting used to.

"Rei'ning here seems to think well on her feet, and is able to leverage bad situations to the best of her ability. We could definitely use her. But if she doesn't want to join, it's not a great idea to force her."

Chrom clapped me on the shoulder, nearly bowling me over. "There you have it. Both my gut instinct and my tactician tell me that you would be a valuable asset to our team, Rei'ning."

I opened my mouth, then closed it. I would be a valuable asset? Really? Uh... I'm really not sure how to feel about this. On one hand... Oh screw it. I'll bite.

"If you really think I'd be of use to you, I would be happy to help. And please, call me Rei." It's a little too weird having people call me Rei'ning without the proper inflections. I would have been in a constant state of wince.

"Welcome to the Shepherds, Rei."

I really, really hope I won't regret this.

* * *

_AN: Whew. I finally decided to start posting this, after sitting on it for months. I'm hoping to do weekly updates, so stay tuned. Please leave reviews with constructive criticism. I'd appreciate any advice, as this is my first fanfiction. Thanks, and I hope you enjoy my writing :)_


	2. Chapter 2: Training-Galvanized

I followed them back to the camp in a daze. What did I just get myself into? Frederick insisted that he would keep watch, most likely to keep an eye on Virion and me. Thankfully I was too tired to really care. Unfortunately, it seemed I had only closed my eyes for a minute before I was shaken awake.

The world map really doesn't do justice to the distances between places in Ylisse. It may take about a second to cross from Chapter 3 to Ylisstol, but it's a six hour hike. We haven't really encountered any more problems after the initial Risen attack, which is good. I probably really would have just had to collapse and play dead if we ran into more trouble, since my legs feel wobbly already.

Thankfully, I'm not the only one with finite stamina. Lissa bore up well, with the occasional complaint, but I could tell she had problems too. It made me feel a little better.

_Oh yeah, compare yourself to the healer who can't dodge a runaway tortoise to make yourself feel better. Real smooth._

Gah. I really am out of shape aren't I? I suppose now's the time to work on it, since it's literally do or die. Seriously, what was I thinking when I said yes to Chrom? I don't know how to fight. I don't even know if I could actually kill someone. I'm just a liability. The most I can do is be a meat shield. These guys really don't need someone who they can't trust to do what needs to be done-

"So, Rei, you said you were a student. What do you study?"

The Avat- No. Her name is Renee. Gotta get used to that. I didn't notice her pull up next to me, since I was busy beating myself up. Haha, really should work on that too... Oh right, question. Uh.

"I'm a student of biology. Er. Or at least, sort of." Hope she knows what biology is...

"Sort of?" Whew, they have that word.

"Um. I started studying biology, but I'm not completely sure that's exactly what I want to do with my life. So I'm taking some time off to figure out what I actually like." True enough, though definitely didn't think I'd end up in Ylisse.

"Were you studying to be a cleric?"

Oh lord. The pre-med question exists in other dimensions too. "Oh, definitely not. Well, my parents really wanted me to become...uh, a healer, but I was more interested in research in other fields. Don't get me wrong, I know it's an important job, but I'm not really _that_ interested in anatomy."

She chuckled. "It seems pretty rare to find a biology student that's not interested in anatomy or becoming a healer." What, here too? Argh, why? "What were you interested in then?"

Hm. "Are you familiar with the theory of evolution?"

She raised an eyebrow quizzically. "No, I'm not."

"So, it's a theory regarding the origin of species. Different species." Oh, wait. I hope I don't shoot myself in the foot, since I don't actually know what the belief here is... Eh. I'll be fine.

"Basically, a very brilliant man came to the conclusion that all living organisms share a common ancestor. Over a very, very long time, this organism changed and diverged to become all of the organisms you see around today. I'm simplifying of course, but if you want to hear more..." I trailed off.

"Really? I would love to hear more."

"So, you know how animal husbandry works right?"...

* * *

Before I knew it, we were arriving at the gates of Ylisstol. Haha, I ended up talking evolution with the Avat- _Renee_, the whole rest of way. I feel like if I sit down, I'll never get back up, but hey, at least I made it here.

Emmeryn. I don't think I've ever seen someone so regal looking. She glided through the streets like a swan in home waters, if swans weren't assholes, that is. I've never met royalty in the real world, so I don't know what they're really like, but this is exactly what I imagined a queen to look like. I think I can understand why her death stopped the war.

...

If I stay with the Shepherds, I'm going to have to watch her die. And deal with everyone's grief afterwards. My grief? No one I've known has ever died before. Can my foreknowledge be enough to save her? Would that prolong the war? As much as the Shepherds are invincible in my games, I somehow doubt that we'd be capable of actually smashing through armies like this. Is her death necessary? Gah. I don't know. I-

I should stop. This is not going to get anywhere. Get a hold of yourself.

I looked around, trying to derail that train of thought. Ylisstol was rather pretty actually. I guess I should have been expecting it, considering it's a capital and all. This is exactly what I would have imagined old European cities to look like, without the poop flying out of windows. And flies/refuse piles everywhere. Surprisingly clean, come to think of it. Hm. I wonder if they actually have a sewage system. I should definitely try to get a grasp on what kind of technology these guys actually have, since it's pretty confusing in the game. Actually, I would like to know what they think about their technologic advancements, since they really don't have anything different from what Marth had two thousand years ago. In any scale, that's really slow development. I think I need to find a library.

**"**Wait, what? She's your... But wouldn't that make you and Chrom..."

Hehe, looks like the AvaRenee found out who Lissa and Chrom were. I speed up a bit to catch up to the trio ahead, because her reaction is gonna be good.

"The prince and princess of the realm, yes. You remember Chrom's name and not this? "

Perfect face fault. Damn, life is an anime. I didn't think it was possible to pull it off in reality. Well, whatever version of reality this is.

"You said you were "shepherds"!"

"And so we are...in a manner of speaking. We just have a LOT of sheep. "

"C-Chrom... I mean, Prince Chrom! Sire! Forgive my dreadful manners!"

Oh Renee~ You seem to be blushing profusely. I think I know who's going to marry whom now. Makes sense, since this is my Avatar and all, this should play out the way I played it. Er. Hopefully.

Actually, what am I saying? Why would that necessarily have to be the case? Why would this happen to follow the laws of fanfiction? This is reality. Ish. For now. At least, until I prove it to be otherwise. I don't fancy offing myself to test it out. This isn't Inception. Er. Damn it, I have no reason to believe that this isn't Inception either.

Time for a new set of givens, to be further tested and proved/disproved. People can die, even if they didn't in my game. They can marry other people. Destiny is not set in stone and my actions matter. Or do they? Would I want them to even?

Gah. I think I'll just decide that whatever I do matters about as much as it does in my real life. Which means, not a whole lot. Yay.

Wait, real life? I just established this as reality until proven otherwise. I meant... other life? God damn it. I really have no clue at this point.

"It looks like Emm is returning to the palace. Would you like to meet her?"

Thank god. Something to distract me from this pseudo existentialist philosophy bs.

* * *

We walked through the entire city to get to the palace. Jesus Christ, I can't feel my legs anymore. I guess it's a good thing that whatever brought me here put me in my boots and not my sandals, because otherwise I would have been hobbling around with blisters the size of small pancakes. Last time that happened, I required a piggyback ride from one of my friends to make it back to my room. I don't think I can ask Frederick to give me a piggyback ride. Brrr. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

Well. I do have to give ancient Ylissian architects credit. They really know how to make an impressive palace. Makes me wonder though, since it kind of looks like... well, it looks like a stock "good guy" castle. Kinda Disney actually. Will Plegia's castle look all evil? I honestly can't remember. I should probably try to write down what I remember happens in the game. Though I might get some suspicious looks if someone else reads it. Oh god. I think Frederick would _actually_ kill me if he found such a thing on me. Nopenopenopenope. Bad plan.

Shit. Stairs.

One foot at a time. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left.

...

...

...

What- Ok. Who decided to put the long ass hallway after a never ending bunch of stairs. Seriously? I'm starting to question the judgment of those architects now.

"Chrom! Lissa! Welcome home. Oh, and good day, Frederick. How fared you all? "

Oh thank god. We made it. Now I just have to stand up for another... few minutes? I hope? If I collapse in front of Emmeryn... I hope no one's paying attention to how much I'm swaying...

Who am I kidding, Frederick pays attention to everything. Aw... Damn, I'm really not making a great first impression here.

"And besides, we had plenty of help!"

"Ah, you speak of your new companions here?"

"This is Renee, Rei and Virion. They fought bravely with us against the brigands. I've decided to make them into Shepherds."

I tried to stand at attention. Or, as much at attention as I can get while trying not to put weight on either of my feet. Yeah, levitation would be great just about now.

"It sounds as though Ylisse owes you all a debt of gratitude."

"Not at all, milady."

"Not at all, milady."

Renee and I spoke at the same time. The same words, and in the same inflection. Shit. That's awkward. I resist the great urge to bury my head in my hands.

"I was merely helping a fellow upstanding gentleman turn away some rather uncouth individuals. It is a sworn duty of a man of my standing, after all."

Thank you, Virion, for filling that silence.

Frederick cleared his throat and stepped forward. "Forgive me, Your Grace, but I must speak. Renee claims to have lost her memory, but it is only that: a claim. We cannot rule out the possibility that she is a brigand herself, or even a Plegian spy." Turning to Virion and me, he narrowed his eyes and said, "While these two don't have "amnesia", we also have no proof of their good intentions."

"Frederick!"

Well, at least he's sensible. I'm glad someone's not in the realm of ridiculous optimism. Not that ridiculous optimism isn't nice once in a while. Damn it, I think they'll notice if I start hopping from foot to foot. Maybe if I just lean side to side? No, that'd look even weirder.

"Well then... It seems you've earned Chrom's faith, and as such you have mine as well." Emmeryn gave us a gentle smile.

A round of 'milady' and bowing later... and I'm back to trying to not collapse.

"I think that's our cue! C'mon, there's a place I want to show you guys."

Lissa goes bouncing off. Where does she find the energy? I hobble after her, Virion and Renee in tow. The barracks better not be too far away.

* * *

"Here we are! The Shepherds' garrison. Go on, make yourself at home. "

CHAIR! Ok. Bench. Either or. Ahhhhhhh. The sweet, sweet bliss of not having weight on my feet. I flopped down in a rather undignified manner, but honestly I don't really care anymore. Seriously, I can understand the Avat - Renee, but I have no idea why Lissa isn't falling over too. Bluh.

Bang! The door flew open and bounced off the wall. A blonde blur streaked through the room and threw herself at Lissa. Man. Even though she's high born and prissy with manners, I guess she really doesn't care either. Hmm... I don't know everything about her, since I didn't manage to get all her supports. She got RNG screwed hard in my files, so she was benched as soon as I had a replacement. For everyone's sake, I hope that doesn't happen here.

"Lissa, my treasure! Are you all right? I've been on pins and needles! "

"Oh, hey, Maribelle! "

Having heard the commotion, more faces appeared in the door frame.

"Hey, squirt! Where's Chrom? I bet he had a rough time out there without ol' Teach and his trusty axe! "

Vaike... is in his fighter outfit. The muscles are nice, but seriously, doesn't he ever get cold? It's not like this place has internal heating. I guess it _is_ pretty mild here so far. I wonder if he puts on a coat when he goes to Regna Ferox.

"Oh, so you're "Teach" now, Vaike, is that it? Hee hee! And here I thought people were just born lacking wits. It can be taught? "

"Ha! Never doubt the Vaike! ...Wait, was that an insult? "

Still dumb as a rock I see. I wracked my brains, thinking of what I knew about him. I don't think I managed to finish all of his support conversations either, since he was benched for most of the game. Don't really enjoy using fighters. Sorry Vaike. Though I mean, I guess it's a lot more... natural to get to know people the old fashioned way, and not by having a virtual encyclopedia of their interactions already in my head. Bah. I hope I get some lovely support conversation hijinks to tide me through the first couple of interactions.

"Beg pardon, but when might we see the captain? "

"Poor Sumia. She's simply been beside herself with concern... Her eyes were scanning the horizon all day during training. ...She might have earned fewer bruises fighting blindfolded. "

"Aw, Sumia, that's so sweet of you to worry about Chrom. "

"Worry? Well, I... He's our captain and our prince—of course I'd worry! "

Sorry Sumia, I think Renee has him. Wait. I mentally smacked myself. God damn it, I just went over this. I'm not going to do shipping while I'm here. I will not ship people. I will not ship people. LalalalalalalalalALALALALAL. Man, old habits die hard.

"So, who are the strangers?"

"No one's stranger than you, Vaike... But allow me to introduce Renee! She just joined the Shepherds. Chrom's made her our new tactician. You should see all the tricks she's got up her sleeve!"

Lissa turned to me "But she's not the only one who joined while we were out! This is Rei," I gave a tired wave from my seat, "and this is Virion." He bowed.

* * *

I don't remember falling asleep, but I _definitely_ remember waking up.

A voice boomed, "**RISE** **AND SHINE! IT'S TIME FOR FREDERICK'S FANATICAL FITNESS HOUR!**"

Wha?

The covers were pulled off. I made a rather undignified shriek at the blast of cool air that invaded my previously warm and cozy burrito of blankets.

Who?

Suddenly, I was upside down, then dumped unceremoniously on my head. OW. Ok. Ok. I'm awake. What the fuck, Ayl-

Frederick leaned over, his face filling up my still blurry field of view. "Are you awake now?"

I think I almost shat myself. The events of the previous day came rushing back.

"I'm up! I'm up!"

"Be outside and ready in five minutes! I'll be counting seconds!"

No doubts that Frederick was actually counting seconds. Clothes. Well, I apparently fell asleep in my shirt. Pants are over there, jacket, check. Ugh, I have one set of clothes. May need to figure out laundry at some point. Aha! Boots! Ok. Breathe. Let's do this.

I rushed outside. Mist still curled around lazily on the ground and the sun hadn't even poked it's head out from under the horizon. Frederick was waiting, unsurprisingly. He already had full armor on. And is that a _suit_ under that armor? Good god, that's ridiculous. Doesn't he boil with that on?

He looked down at me appraisingly. His gaze had quite a long way to go before reaching my head. I think he's got at least a foot and a half on me, and he's also got to be twice as wide. I must look pathetic.

"50 pushups to start with."

Uh.

"Did you not hear me? Pushups. Have you never done them before?"

"I can't do more than 20." Is what I wanted to say. But the words died half formed in my throat as Frederick narrowed his eyes and gave me a withering glare.

"Drop. 50. Now. I don't appreciate wasting time."

1...

2...

3...

4...

...

...

...

...

Ok. 20 might have been pushing it. I got there, with no small amount of effort. My arms burning, I pushed from 19 to 20, then collapsed on the ground panting.

I swear I can feel that glare. It's like a drill boring into my skull, drilling with awful, awful judgement.

21...

...

22...

...

This is gonna suck.

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

It felt like it took years, but I managed 50 pushups. I lay face down in the dirt, letting the sweet, sweet feeling of nothingness steal over my poor, abused biceps. My muscles getting the oxygen that they had been denied for so long, finally allowed to complete the Krebs cycle. Ahhhhh- How did that go again?

"Up. I don't have all day. Ten laps around the palace grounds."

Oh god. I can barely make 400 meters in one go. The palace is huge.

Something tells me that this is going to be longer than an hour.

* * *

"Um. Are you ok?"

There was a hand on my back, gently shaking me. Oh. I'm apparently face down in the grass again. This is becoming a habit.

"Buh?"

My mouth tastes disgusting. Ah. I threw up. Right. Somewhere around the 5th lap. I hope the groundskeepers don't have to clean it up. Actually, something will probably end up eating it. Ugh. Gotta love nature and it's way of recycling.

"Do you want some water?"

Someone talking to me. Blink. Come on, your eyes aren't glued together. Though they might feel like they are right now. Nondescript looking guy. Black hair. Tall, kinda weedy looking really. Squinty eyes. Wait. Uh.

"Kellam?"

He looked quite taken back. "You... actually know my name?"

Shit. Did I slip?

"Er. You introduced yourself yesterday right? When I met the rest of the Shepherds?" Pleasehavetalkedtomepleasehavetalkedtome-

"Well, yes. But... it usually takes at least three tries before anyone remembers who I am." He paused. "And after that, no one sees me anyways. I think Vaike is still confused when there's an extra tray in the mess."

Yeesh. Poor guy. He is... pretty non-descript. Surely it can't be that bad though?

"Oh. Well, I've been trying to make myself remember names better. I'm really awful with faces generally, so..."

I try to get up. Well. Apparently my legs don't work anymore. I feel like a fish. I can't quite tell if the look that Kellam is giving me is pity or concern. Maybe it's both.

"Would you like some help?"

"Please." That was kind of muffled, since my face is still buried in the grass.

A hand grabs the back of my shirt and hauls me upright. Jeez, is everyone this strong? Though I suppose that Kellam has to lug around that ridiculous armor most of the time in battle. How he moves is beyond me. Oh right, feet. That's a thing. I give my leg an experimental shake. I can move it. It's a start.

I turn to thank my savior... And don't see him. Wha-?

"I'm right here."

Behind me. What the- I swear I turned around. How did he get over there?

I look behind me and still no Kellam. I think I'm dazed. I put my hands on my knees and close my eyes.

"You still there?"

"Yep. I've been standing here the whole time."

In front of me this time. I look up, and sure as hell, he's there.

"Did you... throw your voice or anything?"

Kellam shrugs. "I don't know. Sometimes people just forget I'm there."

Wow. Ok, maybe it _is_ that bad.

"Sorry. I'll try not to do that. Thanks for waking me up, by the way."

I gingerly shift weight back and forth between my legs. I _think_ I'm good now, so I straighten up. Darkness rushes forth to meet me. Ok, that might have been a little too fast.

I blink, and there's a hand holding me up again. Sigh. I really have to stop doing that.

"Thanks."

"Don't worry. Frederick has a cycle. You don't have to do the one-on-one sessions more than once a week. Usually. Just... don't get him angry."

I groan. "I don't think I can survive another one of those..."

Kellam gives me a sympathetic pat on my back. "Er. We have sparring practice in about three hours." I must have looked horrified, because he hurriedly added, "You'll be paired up with someone close to your skill level. Frederick isn't _that_ cruel."

We stood around awkwardly for a minute.

"Um. Want to get breakfast? Or... Lunch?"

* * *

I had been with the Shepherds for about a week when Chrom finally came in and announced, "All right, listen, everyone: in the morning, we'll be marching to Regna Ferox. "

About time. I was wondering when this would happen. It makes sense that it would take longer to decide how to approach the Risen threat than a few minutes. I bet they had to actually figure out who would be the best option etc. Though, if I remember correctly, Ylisse only borders Regna Ferox and Plegia. That's actually kind of awkward. I would have thought that Ylisse would have a standing alliance with the Feroxi, especially because there's no army anymore, but I guess Emmeryn was hoping for the general goodwill of everyone. Admirable, but not exactly pragmatic.

Chrom had been in and out of the barracks constantly. I figure that this is where he comes to hang out. I haven't really had time to talk to him in the past week though. Apparently shifting dimensions hasn't really helped my social awkwardness. However, I had managed to get to know a few of the Shepherds a bit better, mostly through necessity. As a fellow trainee, Sumia and I spent quite a few hours smacking each other with sticks. After we both apologized for the umpteenth time for being clumsy ditzs, we ended up sharing a pot of tea, nursing our bruises and chatting about books. She's got a very... high fantasy type reading taste. Fine by me, but good god are some of these books weird. It's like reading Twilight in Elizabethan English. Lot of interesting insights to the culture of Ylisse though. I should read more when I get the time. Or, to be more precise, when I get more energy. Frederick put me through the paces again today and I feel like I've been run over by a steamroller. Blergh.

"Warriors are what they are, and we'll need their strength to quell this new menace. Typically, the exalt would request such aid in person. But given recent events... Well, the people might worry should my sister suddenly leave the capital. So the task has been passed to us."

"However, we can't leave the country and it's villages undefended against the Risen and other threats."

Huh? I perk and come out of my own thoughts.

"So, with the advice from our tactician, we'll be taking Lissa, Frederick, Kellam, Vaike, Miriel and Virion up north. I don't expect much trouble, but we also want to show the khans our strength. From what we know about Feroxi culture, it would be folly to come to them asking for help without showing that we are not weak and unable to defend ourselves."

"That leaves Sully, Sumia, Rei and Stahl to defend the country side. From reports, Risen encounters have slowed to small groups of threes and fours that show up sporadically. I want you to split into two teams. Sully and Stahl are some of the most experienced fighters in the Shepherds, I trust that you trainees will be safe in their hands. Though at such small numbers, you won't be able to traverse the entire realm, you should be able to check on some of the surrounding villages."

After everyone agreed to the plan, we were sent to get ready for the missions ahead... And I still can't feel my legs. For everyone's sake, I hope I won't be a dead weight tomorrow.

* * *

_AN: Oh geez. Late already. Sorry for the weak ending. I kind of hit a block because I realized halfway through writing the chapter that nothing really happened. I'll probably come back and edit this chapter later, but I needed to get it published before I sat on it forever. I think I have the later chapters better planned out, but just bear with me as I get used to the pace that I have to write. For those of you who left reviews, thanks :) I hope I live up to your expectations!_


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